...SOME FUNNY DEFINITIONS... 1. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 2. Divorce : Future tense of marriage 3. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 4. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 5. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 6. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .. 7. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage. 8. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. 9. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 10. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 11. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 12. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 13. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 14. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. 15. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 16. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 17. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 18. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 19. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. 20. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 21. Father : A banker provided by nature. 22. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 23. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 24. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 25. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...... Have a nice day.